1. Wisconsin: Surprised? Probably. But I love the tacky cheese heads, the countless ice cream and candy shops, the red neck country feel, skiing on the bunny hills of Alpine Valley, splashing in the pee infested waters at the Dells, the little big town of Madison, the music to my ears at Summerfest, the pristine lakes along with the polluted ones. Wisconsin, you feel like home.
2. Disney World: Am I getting tacky enough for you? I don't care, I've loved it since the moment I stepped foot in the Magic Kingdom at 5 years old. Mickey, let me be your Minnie and we can move into Cinderella's castle and live happily ever after. I could ride in circles on the Dumbo ride for hours before experiencing the slightest bit of nausea, and that's saying a lot for my terribly weak stomach as many of you know. You are the happiest place on earth.
3. Las Vegas: Wow, maybe I am worse than I thought. With this list, I should probably move to Naperville or hang out at LTC Mall, maybe grab some Ruby Tuesdays. No, I will stand strong with my choices. Las Vegas to me equals amazing food, shopping, and entertainment, three of my favorite things! I'll be there next week indulging in all of my favorite activities. Maybe I'll stay forever and become a full time gambler, the next Annie Duke.
4. Israel: Now I've really thrown you for a loop! Not only have we moved across the world, but we've entered Jewville, which as you know is not a regular hangout of mine. But the beauty and magic of this place cannot be described in words. Nor can the taste of the falafel on the streets. Those of you who enjoy Pita Inn have no idea what you're missing. There are mountains, rivers, deserts and of course the deadest of seas! The Jew and the Anti Semite can both find pleasure in this historical mecca!
5. Switzerland: So I had to be sophisticated and choose a European hot spot. Maybe not as hot as Paris or Rome, but to me, it was the prime location in Western Europe. It was Europe minus the snobbery of France, the boring museums of Italy, the weather of England, the sexual ferocity of Amsterdam. I loved the little ski towns, the sparklingly clean atmosphere, and even the chocolate (as I am usually not a fan). This country is often forgotten on European tours, and I highly recommend it. (I'm sure with my other sophisticated choices such as Wisconsin and Vegas, you'll be sure to heed my advice!)
Wow, that wasn't so hard now was it?
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