So, I know I probably shouldn't knock it 'til I've tried it, but being the hater I am is all about judgment and what could be more judgmental than hating on something I have never experienced. It's true, I have never read "Twilight" or seen the movie, and I have no intentions of ever doing so. My hatred for this celebrated vampire series began on none other than facebook, as I perused the daily additions to the bumper sticker application, an old favorite of mine. Yes, I used to look through them, reading the endearingly adorable 'you're my other half,' 'you complete me,' and 'time's not wasted when we're getting wasted' stickers, often sending them to one of my own other halves, most often Ali, though my favorite to send her were those hating on gingers. (In case you did not realize it, I, myself am not a ginger, so I was entitled here)
Anyway, I digress. The point here is that out of nowhere I begin seeing these 'I heart Edward Cullen' and 'Edward Cullen completes me' stickers beginning to replace the hilarious ginger hating stickers I had once so often enjoyed. Shocked and confused as to who this Edward Cullen character was, I had to resort to Google, where I find he is the vampire in the Twilight series of books for teens. Okay, so he doesn't even really exist and he is taking up hundreds of bumper stickers. WTF?!?
The Twilight craze continued to go even further when the next book in the series, "New Moon" was released in bookstores at midnight where thousands of tween girls lined up days before to get their hands on this astounding piece of literature. With all this press, I still had no desire to go near it. One Harry Potter is enough, and while I'll admit, I read books 1-4, I had to eventually grow up and move on to more advanced literature such as the "Something Borrowed" series!! Anyway, what's so exciting about a vampire who goes to school with humans? I think Evanston High School probably had its fair share of pointy toothed vampire-esque characters, and I didn't see anyone making a fuss over them. In fact, I think I often heard a comment more along the lines of, "Damn dude you see that busted grill?"
Finally, the epidemic reached its peak when it was announced that there was to be a movie in the making starring none other than Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! Wait, who? Exactly! Now, the Edward Cullen bumper stickers began to have a face to match the mystery man and it was the face of newcomer Robert Pattinson. When the movie came out, girls all over the globe swooned over this guy, and once again I'm left only with WTF?! Robert Pattinson, you're absolutely hideous, and I would possibly rather suffer through the long, drawn out passages of "Twilight," imagining a handsome, James Franco (be still my heart) of a vampire than look at your face for five minutes. And Kristen Stewart, I don't like you, in fact you may one day make the list of the many things I hate!
New Moon comes out in November. I know this because my job requires me to know such meaningless information as this as well as the fact that Miranda Cosgrove from "iCarly" just celebrated her 16th birthday, and Miley Cyrus recently ate lunch with ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas! I know, can you believe it? Anyway, I won't be one of the thousands lined up for this one. Edward Cullen, I don't heart you. I hate you
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